Dearest Tommy, Gilby, and Jason,
If you fellows from Supernova choose Lukas Rossi as your singer, I will no longer spend my hard-earned money on any of your CDs. He looks like a cartoon chicken with eyebrows, and about the only music his voice is suited for is anything by The Smashing Pumpkins, and I can pretty much live my life never hearing them again. Any of the remaining choices I think would be great, Magni or Toby equally good. Please choose wisely, gentlemen. And for whichever ones of the last 5, excluding Lukas, that you do not choose, please do your very best to help hook them up with a deal - I would very much like to hear more of them! Oh, and a picture of Dave without clothing on the website would be much appreciated - that, I would pay for!
Okay, on to new business. Or it might be old business, depending on how you look at it...
Dear Asshat in the stupid Aztek with the broken-off gas cap cover,
It is considered good form to actually look at the traffic you are trying to merge into, even if only by using your mirrors. To acknowledge the presence of those with the right-of-way is not only polite, but it just makes sense! And going 30 miles an hour faster or slower than the traffic that has right-of-way does not entitle you to special consideration when merging into said RoW traffic. Oh, and you could give that blinker a workout - it's looking a little neglected!
I am sure that you will give this matter your full attention, after you finish your phone call, of course! If you don't have time to get to it soon, you might want to consider installing a "How Am I Driving" sticker with your cell number on it, on your rear bumper somewhere, unless, of course, you plan on ripping that off on something, too! Thanks in advance!!
Somebody asked me today if I was in a bad mood; not really, I am just being very verbal today, I think. For some reason, many people that don't know me very well equate my verbal days with bad mood days, when in reality, it's usually the reverse. I guess I need to post a sign....