And We Wonder Why...

Seen on a Kia from Missouri on the way home today:
A cheesy cartoon of a wizard, similar to this one, but not this one, since I stole this one from the internet:






And written below that, this legend:
Fastener Sourcerer
XXX-XXX-XXXX

Fastener Sourcerer? Sour - cerer? Sorcerer? WTF? Clearly suffering an addled brain from the previous twenty miles of 80-stop, 80-stop, 80-stop, oh-look-no-blinker, I am not able to puzzle this out. It's every bit as bad as 90% of the stupid-ass vanity plates that only the owner gets. Except the one PRNSSS has (scroll down to the next to last paragraph for that tirade).

Anyway, finally, it comes to me. Fastener SOURCE-erer. Oh, look, Ethel, it's a Play On Words, says Delbert. (If the car had been from anywhere other than Missouri, I would have imagined that conversation in Monty Pythonese) (Except possibly Arkansas - pronounced R Kansas, btw)

And we wonder why all the kids are growing up retarded??? Um, because people think it's okay to just take any old word in the language and bastardize it to suit their idiotic needs??? Now, we can't blame everything on gangstas and Ebonics, if this Kia is any indication. Assuming, of course, that both gangstas and Ebonics are relatively scarce in Missouri...

If it ain't in the Oxford English, then maybe you should stop trying to be clever. Because you FAIL, in some cases EPIC FAIL. And "ain't" is in there, so :b~~~~~~~~ (my sister would slap me if she lived closer).

People, just remember that for those of us with photographic memory (out of film or otherwise), we can't usually Un-See a thing once it's been seen, and bleach just isn't suitable.

Show Me State, huh? Come here, you dumb shit, let me show you how I'm going to smack you right in the damn head....

Thanks to Chris Cornell for helping me survive today's drive; if you haven't listened to all of his 1999 solo effort, Euphoria Morning, I highly recommend it, regardless of your driving conditions...